Regarding, KC, A.K.A., Crazy Cat Lady

KC has a fondness for roaming the streets at night and sleeping during the day. She is known in our neighborhood as a "pistol-packin" mama. I hear she has quite the "collection." The P.D. is aware of this fact, but I get the impression that they do not take her too seriously. Considering some of the other "shenanigans" that go on around here, should we be surprised?

There was a time, not so long ago, when KC was known to have confronted her long-time neighbor, Mary's boyfriend. It was late evening and dark shadows were cascading across the lawn. After a romantic little rondevous, this handsome Latino male was making an exit down the steps of his girlfriend's small apartment. Like one of her cats sneaking up on a tiny lizard, KC came creeping out from behind the azalea bushes. With pistol in hand and pointing his way, she said, "Hey, buddy, I've never seen you before and you don't look like you belong here." Immediately, his hands reached for the sky and he began nervously responding to her relentless interrogation.

After a few minutes, Mary realized that she hadn’t heard Jasper’s car start. She went outside to see what was going on and was horrified at the scene in front of her. After convincing KC that Jasper was a friend of hers, KC put the gun away and Jasper fled to his fancy red sports car and roared off in a cloud of smoke. To this day, no one has seen hide nor hair of this young man.

Another incident regarding KC was the time (again, it was in the dark of night) when she confronted a homeless vagrant. There was an old dump of a house that had been delivered via a giant house-moving trailer to an empty lot across the street. The house sat there forever and a day, with nothing done to it, looking very ugly and empty. I guess it looked like a pretty good deal to the homeless man, a way for him to get some protection from the elements.

Well, KC had other notions and with pistol in tow, she yelled at the man and asked him what his intentions were. I guess he was more than a little frightened when he saw a screeching woman with a shock of white hair headed toward him with a gun. This must have sent him over the edge because he high tailed it out of there so fast, it was like he had become a "super hero" with accelerated speed injected into his feet.

I do not speak with KC on a regular basis because she is a such a "hard nut to crack", but I did inquire about this particular incident. I asked her if she wasn't just a little bit concerned that a character such as this homeless guy might have a weapon himself, such as a knife. She let me know real quick (as only KC can) that she did not intimidate that easily and that no one was going to get the jump on her! What came to my mind at this point was a quote from the famous Ace Ventura, “Well, alrighty then!”

I’m sure that KC’s sweet Daddy is looking down with pride at his baby girl as she patrols the streets at night, packin’ some heat. I would like to say that I sleep much better knowing she’s got it all under control. Or at least she thinks she does. You see, she is a "legend in her own mind."