Joe Cool

One fine spring morning, my husband, A.K.A. Mr. Man, was stirring around in the yard trying to find things to do. He had broken a bone in his hand and had been off work for a couple of months, which was driving him crazy. He glanced up and happened to notice Joe Cool ambling across the street to Helga's house. It looked like he was going to do some serious tree trimming, because he had drug over his ladder and a chain saw. Helga had come out on her porch to watch or should I say "supervise."

As Mr. Man continued with his yard work, he couldn't help but notice what was going on across the street. Joe Cool had set his ladder up against Helga's oak tree and with chain saw in hand, he proceeded to trudge up the ladder. Something didn't seem quite right to my husband about this plan. For one thing, Joe Cool was a heavy weight and the ladder didn't look sturdy enough to hold him up. He was also leaning out with the chain saw to cut off the tree limbs. My husband was thinking to himself, "This looks like a disaster getting ready to happen." All of a sudden, there was a "snap" and down came Joe Cool, the ladder, chain saw, and tree limbs with a loud thud! Helga let out a blood curdling scream that would have woke the dead and she kept yelling, "Someone call 911," while she was holding her cordless phone and, bless her heart, wet her pants! Mr. Man began running and with his good hand, he grabbed the top of our chain link fence and hopped over to the other side. By the time he got inside Helga's gate, all you could see were the tree limbs covering Joe Cool's body and to my husband's horror, the chain saw was still running! As he was clearing away the limbs, he noticed the chain saw was still in Joe Cool's hand and he was able to shut it off.

Having the wind knocked out of him and looking confused and dazed, it was a wonder that this poor soul was not seriously injured. He was more embarrassed than anything else and kept saying that he was okay. Helga insisted that she call the paramedics, but he told her "absolutely not." He sat on her porch for a while to catch his breath and then slowly made his way back to his house across the street.

When I got home from work that evening and asked Mr. Man about his day, he had quite the story to tell. He felt Joe Cool had hurt himself more than he had let on and would be more than a little sore the next day. I asked him how he hopped our fence with a broken hand and he said he didn't really know, but he had had enough excitement for one day!